At the age of 12, I had my first exposure to pornography. I was exposed to it by some so-called friends. What started out as something very innocent quickly became a crippling sin that would almost destroy my life.
Later in life, I found myself lying and being very deceitful in order to indulge and going places that I never thought I would go. I remember looking in the mirror and thinking, “I’m turning into a monster.” To the outside world, everything looked fine. I even experienced great success in many areas of my life. I graduated from college at the top of my class. I started a career as a graphic designer. It looked as if I had everything going for me, but I felt that my life was truly falling apart.
I was a functioning addict in every sense of the word, but I was ceasing to function. I became so discouraged, wondering if I would ever be free from this addiction. I chose to overdose on over-the-counter medication one day; but after doing so, I realized I didn’t want to die. I told my mom I had overdosed, and she immediately gave me something to induce vomiting. At the ER, I found out my mom’s quick action had saved my life.
Four months before all of this, my church started a Reformers Unanimous program. At RU, I saw hope for the first time. I got involved to in going to the Friday night classes and began learning what a real walk with Jesus Christ is like. Through a series of events, God opened the doors for me to go to the Men’s School of Discipleship in Rockford, Illinois.
Very quickly, God began to open my eyes to the fact that I had been trusting in myself for victory instead of Him. I had no problem accepting the fact that Christ did all the work for salvation, but I somehow thought that He expected me to be the one working at changing my life. I began to find that as I developed a dependency on Christ; and as God became real to me through His Word, I no longer had an extreme desire to indulge in pornography. God was making me free. I had never felt such freedom in my life.
I have begun a true walk with God, and everything is changing.
– Jeremy, Oklahoma
