The Collapse of the Home

One can argue that the traditional home has drastically changed during our generation. While some may want to blame those who protest for same-sex unions, the ultimate truth is found in the verse above. God’s plan is the only plan that works and all others are in vain. Of course, that means one man, one wife…for life. However, that also means a few other things that God clearly points out in His Word. Here are just a few:

  • Genesis 1:28, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply,”
  • Matthew 19:5, “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?”
  • Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
  • Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
  • Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”
Ephesians 6:4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
  • Ephesians 5:33, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
  • Matthew 19:6b, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

While it is easy for us to “pick and choose” the principles from God’s Word that we wish to proclaim, Satan has patiently and skillfully waited until the right time to attack the God-ordained institution of the home. He waits until he finds an area that is weak – when we are doing things in our own power and through our own perspective and not focusing on the entire Word of God – and that is when he comes in to devour. 1Peter 5:8 says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” With child abuse, divorce, abortion, equal rights, spousal abuse, pornography, cohabitation, same-sex marriages, and more on the rise,…it is clear that Satan has skillfully planned his attack and has gained enormous amounts of territory.

In America, there is one divorce every thirteen seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 divorce per week.

43% of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers.
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely than those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.
Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families…even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant.
Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these children, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.
However, divorce is not solely to blame for the collapse of the institution of marriage. For the first time in American history, unmarried households now make up the majority of all U.S. households. Forty percent of all American children are born out of wedlock.

Divorce statistics are actually lower than in the 1980s simply because people are choosing to cohabitate rather than follow God’s plan. And this is not the “end of the story.” The domino effect of the teardown in the home often leads to emotional, financial, and spiritual breakdowns which then lead to people looking for an escape.
The escape that is often chosen is a coping mechanism that continues to devastate and destroy the entire family and all its members. Into a broken home enters drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, self-harm, immorality, abuse, and more. And don’t you know that Satan is well aware of this? It is his plan! After all, he is not just after you…he is after yours! Remember, small compromises lead to great disasters.

Simply put, God’s principles are not to be ignored. And yet, Christians and non-Christians alike have been deceived by Satan to believe one lie after another. A recent, obvious display that we, as a nation, have chosen to disregard God’s plan came to the spotlight when a former child star of a popular television show wrote a Christian book about balancing her priorities. In the book, she mentioned “submission” and it ignited a firestorm. This was not the premise of the book, but rather a simple statement within a chapter.

From liberal news reporters to women’s magazine editors, people were coming out of the woodwork to blast her as “setting women back approximately a billion years.” If it were only non-Christians, it could be understood as “the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (I Corinthians 2:14). Yet, Christian women also choose to disregard this foundational truth of the home. It is clear that they have been deceived by Satan through the humanistic and feministic philosophies ingrained within the very nature of our society. Paul warned us of this in 2 Corinthians 11:3,“But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.” However, we are not the only ones who see the devastating effects of the changes in the home. The following excerpt is from a secular news source…one that would be considered “liberal”. Notice that even they see the collapse of the home and the problems that come as a result:

Despite the political firestorm surrounding the federal court decision that overturned California’s Proposition 8 ban on gay marriage, little has been said about the real issues that are contributing to the dysfunctional American family. The disintegration of traditional marriage and the family, once the glue that kept society together, has set in motion a domino effect that, as it ripples outward, is relegating children to lives of poverty and servitude and destroying the foundations of freedom.Contrary to what critics might say, same-sex marriage, while it may be a symptom of a cultural shift away from traditional marriage and all it has historically entailed, is not responsible for the collapse of marriage as a long-revered institution in this country. That blame rests squarely on the shoulders of heterosexuals for whom marriage — and the family unit that arises from it — has become a temporary arrangement at best, with divorce now seen as an immediate cure-all and cohabitation a happy, less permanent, alternative.

Even among professed evangelical Christians who tout traditional marriage, divorce rates are comparable to those of non-Christians. And while the decline in divorce in recent years has been hailed as good news (it now stands at 40 percent, down from a high of nearly 60 percent in the 1980s), it is a false positive that is offset by falling marriage rates and surging cohabitations.**

Satan has targeted the home for centuries. It is his desire to totally destroy the first God-ordained institution…the one that pictures Christ’s love for the church. It is time that we, as God-fearing Christians, step up and reclaim what rightfully belongs to God using all the principles that He so graciously inspired and preserved for us. Let’s not be so foolish as to claim only portions of them, but rather, let us obey all of them because…“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16). Therefore, it is also profitable for our homes. Let’s get back to following God’s principles to build our homes and no longer labor in vain.

*Statistics acquired from the Journal of Research on Adolescents; George Barna research and statistics; P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children; and What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities?
**The Huffington Post
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God led Ben and his family (wife, Wendy; and three children, Josh, Caleb, and Hannah) to Rockford, Illinois in 2003 to become the International Director of the fastest growing addiction ministry in the United States. Bro. Burks is now privileged to travel and train others how to help the addicted within their communities.

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