The Lord gave me two little boys named Tanner and Grayson. This sounds like the beginning of a wonderful story. However, the heart-breaking part is that I was active in my addiction while I was pregnant and my drug habit only worsened after they were born.
What kind of mother does this? What kind of mother chooses drugs and sin over her own children? Satan used my own guilt to dig an even deeper grave, while the Lord mercifully protected my boys from this deadly situation. I was in bondage to the lies of Satan and believed that I could never be anything but a drug addict.
Unlike countless others who have similar stories, my sister and her husband took my children into their loving, stable home where the focus of life was on the Lord. God placed them into the arms of my family who not only provided for them, but loved them unconditionally. The devil was out to steal, kill, and destroy my home – leading me to believe I was nothing and that I did not deserve to be a mother or call myself a mom.
Due to my bad choices, I ended up in jail. Though at the time I saw no good thing coming out of my life, God had other plans! In December of 2012, I was released and sent to the Reformers Unanimous Discipleship Home for Women in Rockford, Illinois. To be honest, I had basically given up on ever seeing my boys again and, with that seemingly certain reality, lost all hope for my life. But on December 5, 2012, I met the only real Hope as Paul describes in I Timothy 1:1, “Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the commandment of God our Saviour, and Lord Jesus Christ, which is our hope…” After my salvation, Jesus began to show me how to identify Satan’s lies and live by God’s truths!
The Lord has transformed me, and I am on a road to becoming the person He desires for me to be and the mother Tanner and Grayson need me to be. At one time in my life, a trusting restoration between my sister, boys, and me seemed impossible, but now I have a sweet relationship with my sister and family that the Lord has used to care for and rear my children while I was in my sin.
God has blessed my obedience and has answered my prayers; I now have regular phone conversations with all of my family, including Tanner and Grayson. Praise God for his promises and restoration. I fully trust Him and pray for a visit in the near future. Satan hasn’t stopped his lies, but I no longer have to believe them as I clearly see the words of the prophet Joel, “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten…” (Joel 2:25). – Roxanna Franklin