Proverbs 12:4 Dissected & Defined
A virtuous (morally good) woman is a crown (external representation) to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness (decayed) in his bones (internally).
In the Old Testament, a crown was an external representation that was reserved for a king. The word King was used in the New Testament to mean ruler. The old English word ruler is a synonym for the modern English word leader. In other words, yesterday’s kings would be today’s leaders!
With this word triple defined, we can better understand what this verse could mean in today’s vernacular. The husband is the leader of the home. He is the king of the family, so to speak. His crowning jewel is his wife. She is the person God uses to bring forth the king’s family.
The Importance of Moral Purity
She can make him, but she can break him, too. She holds the key to his kingdom. If she is morally pure she places a crown on the head of her king: the husband, the leader of the home. Others see the value of his kingdom, the strength of his castle, and the beauty of his queen. Though he is the head of the home, everyone knows that she is the neck that turns the head. She is virtuous.
Lack of Moral Purity Causes Insecurity
But, if she does not have moral purity, then the king of the home has a big problem. Though he still leads the home, he has no confidence that his leadership is secure. Internally, he questions everything about his kingdom and is unable to trust in its people.
He will begin to doubt every part of his life and will battle internally for many things and over many things. His kingdom is divided. He is divided. His queen is divided.
The king will remain vulnerable and uncertain of his kingdom’s future. He will surely be attacked and when he is, he will fight alone, for he knows not who is on his side. Then he will lose and his kingdom will be destroyed, dispersed, and delivered to another.